Speechless.. Its nice to facing all these difficulties with all my greatest sisters and brothers.. Yes I am tired, yes I am hopeless, yes I have peace. There are more than one thing I want to share.. but now I just want to share about today.. So many things happened this summer and these days.. all these gifts and encounter I have experienced.. all these tears and joy I have felt.. Praise You my Lord .. for You still love me and I love you back.. Praise You my Lord .. for I have to face money problem and only depend on You.. Praise You my Lord .. problems are can no longer block me to love You more. Sometimes I asked lots of why.. God why does Sarah and Alice and Amy have to leave? God why my money is not here yet? God why am I so foolish that I can lost my 15 dollars today when I don't have too much money already? After all, there are one reason... God wants me to love Him only and not worry about others. I found peace although I lost my money..(not in the beginning ... of course) but after the sadness.. I just felt that.. God said its okay.. there are much more blessing waiting for me when I stop worshipping money and the world.. tears fall down from my face, because I am so stress out.. yes is only the first week of school yes I still don't have any text book yet yes I still waiting for that one answer yes I am ready to do something I never done before in school yes I am who God says I am my head hurts.. my tears runs.. my music plays.. my mind thinks.. my hand types.. all for one reason.. God still loves me.. Thats why I am here... Thats why you can read my words. Take my world away God. I don't care anymore I am so lost but I know You are with me I am so hopeless but You are my hope I am so sad but You are my joy as long as You are with me as long as You care about me as long as You still loves me More God More BREAK me into pieces.. kill me before use me yes God because there is no better way than Yours because there is no meaning to live without You I don't care how others say about me anymore because I only got one life to live. and that is Yours I might cry in the middle of night I might hurt while You break me I might want to give up I might going to the place I never been before I might be scare but If is all for You take me even if that cost my life All I can do is .. trust You all the way no turning back no more time for wasting no other way trust You wholeheartedly if I perish, then I perish if I die, then I die because I know where I am going.